you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
