I just threw up on my dentist
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
