Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
