WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
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