"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He shit in the fireplace
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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