marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
