i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
