I can tuck mytits in my pants
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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