we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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