i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
