i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
