so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
