you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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