thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
