If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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