Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
