Cold hands, warm shart.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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