Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
