he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
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