Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
