yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
