wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
