never play flip cup with pint glasses
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
