real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
