since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
