Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
