evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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