dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
tonight lets celebrate not being married
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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