My friends, they love my intelligence
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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