Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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