i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
