How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
