Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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