You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
