You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize