So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I stole a fireplace last night.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
