you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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