Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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