I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
