rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
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