Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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