I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
