thus making me awesome and them whores
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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