She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
