summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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