She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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