i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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