See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
