Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
