D3 body, D1 cock
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
