dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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