Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Randomize
