Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize