so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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