Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize