A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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