I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
