I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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