thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
