i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
