Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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