he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
